How to Outrun a Rhino

3 February

Answer: you don’t.

The thing to do when faced with a charging rhino is to “climb the nearest tree,” according to our guide in Chitwan National Park. If you are unfortunate enough to find yourself without easy access to low-hanging branches, hiding behind the tree can be effective. And,  if all else fails, running zig-zag is the best way to avoid a rhino’s poor eyesight.

Standing on the riverbank before embarking into the jungle, I looked around at the tangled mess of vines and branches that lined the path.

Sure. Easier said than done, I thought.

Our guide continued with his safety instructions. In case of a vicious sloth bear encounter, huddle together in a group while I bang this on the ground to scare it away, motioning to the walking stick in his hand. Tigers are a different story; don’t run, keep eye contact, and back away slowly. But elephants, he said, peddling his feet as if performing a football conditioning drill, if we see a wild elephant –RUN!

And with that we set off into the jungle with our fearless leader and the rest of us staking claims on the closest climbing tree.

With just over a month before the end of our grant, the Gorkha ETAs decided it was time to visit one of Nepal’s landmark destinations, Chitwan National Park, known for its jungle walks, wildlife sightings, and most importantly, elephant rides!

What we lacked in comfort (who knew jamming four people in a small wooden box on top of lumbering elephant could be so painful!), our elephant handler made up for with character. Midway through our ride he took the liberty of being our personal photographer. This involved him waving our cameras behind him at an attempt at a group “selfie,” resulting in a number of empty frames except for miscellaneous foreheads, shoulders, and feet.

Although we didn’t spot one of the rare Bengal tigers, a surprise was waiting for us later that evening. Seated around the campfire (thinking about how great it would be to have some s’mores), an employee approached us and casually asked if we would like to see a rhino.

We followed his directions through the wall of bushes to the neighboring hotel, which I hald-expected to reveal a statue or mural of one of these horned creatures. Instead, it opened to a field and less than twenty yards away stood a real. Live. Nepali. Rhino. Chewing grass, unfazed by the camera flashes and flashlight beams. It was like staring at a modern day dinosaur.